1、与人打交道,最怕没有底线


  The worst thing you can encounter when you interact with people is your own lack of a base line.

  人际交往中最不能做的第一件事,就是没有底线。

  No matter who you are interacting with, be it your family, your friend or strangers, you should know:

  无论你是和亲人、朋友还是陌生人打交道,你都应该明白:

  1. You have your own boundaries which others have no right to pass unless you authorize them to.

  你有自己的权力边界,这是别人不能够侵犯的。

  2. What you do is your own business. And you are the one who decides how to do them.

  你的事就是你的事,它们的最终决定权在你。

  3. What others do is their own business. If you don't want to help, you have the right not to.

  别人的事就是别人的事,如果你不想帮忙,那你就可以不帮忙。

  There is no need in maintaining all those pointless relationships and making yourself miserable.

  你没有必要委屈自己去维护太多无意义的关系。

  You don't need to please everyone.

  你没有必要去讨好所有人。

  Your energy is limited.

  一个人的精力是有限的。

  And it's impossible to get along with everyone.

  一个人也不可能和所有人都保持融洽。

  This is life. It may not be the life that we imagine our lives should be like. But it's the true life that we have to live.

  这就是人生,它可能不是大多数人想象中的那个“应该的人生”,它是那个“现实的人生”。



  2、有一种魅力,叫做修养


  A person's purest charm comes from his manners.

  一个人最根本的魅力,来自他的修养。

  This kind of charm doesn't need any decoration. It comes out of your heart and reaches directly into others' hearts.

  这种魅力不需要任何外在的修饰,它发源于内心,也直抵其他人的心。

  Spending time with someone who has good manners makes one feel comfortable.

  与一个有教养的人相处,会让人觉得舒服。

  And isn't comfort what we want the most in our daily life?

  而舒服难道不是我们在生活中最想得到的东西吗?

  People like this know how to stand in others' shoes. They know when they should reach out a helping hand.

  这样的人,知道怎样站在别人的角度想问题,知道什么时候应该伸出援手。

  And what is the most basic manner that one can have?

  而一个人最基本的修养是什么?

  It's knowing to respect people.

  那就是懂得尊重。

  No one can survive in this world all by himself. We all need help sometimes.

  没有谁能独立地生活在这个世界上,我们总会在某些时候需要别人的帮忙。

  And it takes respect to make others help you.

  而让别人帮忙的前提,就是尊重。

  Respect is the most baseline manner.

  尊重,是最基本的修养。

  And manner is the last kind of charm which a person can afford to lose.

  而修养,是最不可或缺的魅力。



  3、真正有意义的生活


  What will matter?

  什么才重要?

  Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end. There will be no more sunrises, no days, no hours or minutes. All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten, will pass to someone else.

  无论是否准备好,总有一天它都会走到尽头。 那里没有日出,没有白天,没有小时和分钟。 你收集的所有东西,不管你珍惜或忘记与否,它们都将流入他人手中。

  Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance. It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.

  不管是你得到的或是你欠别人的,可你的财产、名誉和权势也都会变成和你毫不相干的东西。

  Your grudges, resentments, frustrations, and jealousies will finally disappear.

  你的怨恨、愤慨、挫折和妒忌最终也将消失。

  So, too, your hopes, ambitions, plans, and to-do lists will all expire.The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.

  因此,你的希望、抱负、计划以及行动日程表也将全部结束。 当初看得比较重的成功得失也会消失。

  It won't matter where you came from, or on what side of the tracks you lived.

  你来自何方,住在穷人区还是富人区也都不重要了。

  It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant. Your gender, skin color, ethnicity will be irrelevant.

  你昔日的漂亮与辉煌也都不重要了,你的性别、肤色、种族地位也将消失。

  So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?

  因此,什么重要呢? 怎么衡量你有生之年的价值呢?

  What will matter is not what you bought, but what you built; not what you got, but what you gave.

  重要的不是你买了什么,而是你创造了什么; 不是你得到了什么,而是你给予了什么。

  What will matter is not your success, but your significance.

  重要的不是你成功了,而是你生命的意义。

  What will matter is not what you learned, but what you taught.

  重要的不是你学到了什么,而是你传授了什么。

  What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage and sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.

  重要的是每个行动之中都有正直和勇气的气概,伟大的同情心和牺牲精神,并且鼓励他人遵从榜样。

  What will matter is not your competence, but your character.

  重要的不是你的能力,而是你的性格。

  What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you're gone.

  重要的不是你认识多少人,而是在你离开后,多少人会怅然若失。

  What will matter is not your memories, but the memories of those who loved you.

  重要的不是你的回忆,而是爱你的人对你的追思。

  What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.

  重要的是别人会记你多长时间,谁记着你,为什么记着你。

  Living a life that matters doesn’ t happen by accident.

  过有意义的生活不是一桩偶然。

  It s not a matter of circumstance but of choice.

  是因为你选择了它。

  Choose to live a life that matters.

  选择有意义的人生吧!



 4、学会原谅,过更好的生活


  When we are born, we are unblemished. As we grow, we develop many complexities due to many influences in our lives. During childhood, we are repeatedly discouraged, chided, and in some cases, abused. As we grow older, we develop our own version of right and wrong. We create a world of our own.

  当我们出生时,我们是纯洁无瑕的。当我们长大了,生活中的很多因素影响着我们,使我们变得复杂。在孩童时,我们常常遭到阻止、指责和责骂。随着年龄增长,我们有了自己的是非观,我们有了我们自己的世界。

  Our brain collects and retains all visual, auditory information from the moment we are born and to the smallest of the details. Apart from our brain having memory, cells in our body, in billions, have their own memory. In other words, our body store both physiological and psychological memories. We are complex emotional beings in nature compared to any other living animal.

  从出生那刻起,我们的大脑就收集和保存着所有的听到的和看到的信息,以及那些极小的细节。不仅我们的大脑有记忆,我们身体中的数十亿个细胞也有记忆。换句话说,我们的身体既有生理记忆,也有心理记忆。我们天生就比其它生物的情感更为复杂。

  Apparently, physical and psychological memories strongly influence our emotions! Interestingly, we can create, store, and release emotion like energy. Moreover, if we do not process our emotions properly and suppressed for long time, they can find a way out violently and unexpectedly.

  显然,身体和心理的记忆强烈地影响着我们的情感!有趣地是,我们可以创造、储存情感,还可以像释放能量一样释放情感。然而,若我们不能妥善地处理好我们的情感,长期地压抑着情感,它们可能会猛然迸发出来。

  Unfortunately, we carry our guilt throughout our lives effecting ever-increasing burden on our shoulders. We become heavy with guilt and anger for things we could or did not achieve, for things we cannot have, to cite few examples. Evidently, everyone carry his or her own sack of guilt and anger.

  不幸的是,我们一辈子带着内疚的情感,使我们的包袱越来越重。比如,对那些我们得到或得不到的东西,对那些我们不能拥有的东西,都充满了内疚与愤怒的情感。显然,每个人都有一麻袋的内疚和愤怒。

  One must question our nature of accumulating and carrying our guilt and anger until the end. Both guilt and anger are useless for us. They give us no advantage. Therefore, one may ask: is there a way to put down the sack from our weary shoulders? It is possible, indeed. Importantly, since our guilt and anger inside us neither addressed nor given attention, they are stored. Actually, we should process and address our emotions in order to remove from our system. We cannot just wish them away.

  人们必须质疑我们不断积压或产生的内疚与愤怒的本质。内疚和愤怒是没有用的,对我们无任何益处。因此,也许有人会问:有没有方法让我们放下压在我们脆弱肩上的这个包袱?答案是,有的。重点是,我们的内疚和愤怒的情感既没有被释放也没有被重视,而是被储存了。实际上,我们应该处理并释放我们的情感,这样才能把它们从我们自身消除。我们不能只是希望它们消失。

  In fact, by acknowledging their presence and providing a channel for them to dissipate, we can dissolve our emotions gradually. Taking drugs, consuming alcohol only aggravates situation. They only provide transient solace. Is there a better way to unload our burden? Luckily, we have natural gift to process our feeling and emotions. Forgiveness stands first of all other natural remedies.

  其实,承认它们的存在,并为其提供一个消散的通道,我们才能逐渐化解这些情感。吸毒、饮酒只会使我们的状况变得更遭。这样也只能提供短暂的慰藉。有没有更好的方法来卸下包袱呢?很幸运,我们天生就有处理感受和情感的能力。在所有自然疗法中,原谅排在第一。

  Indeed, there is no better way than forgiving ourselves. Notwithstanding, we should learn to readily forgive others. When we learn to forgive ourselves, we also naturally forgive others.

  确实没有比原谅自己更好的办法了。尽管如此,我们应学会欣然原谅他人。当我们学会原谅自己,也就自然地会原谅他人了。

  In summary, there is no benefit carrying our years of emotional baggage. By forgiving, we can throw away the emotional baggage we carry for years, if not decades. Forgive your past mistakes. The moment you start forgiving, you feel lot lighter and years of heaviness lifted magically! To your surprise, you start feeling lot energetic and optimistic in your daily life.

  总之,背着多年的情感包袱对我们毫无益处。原谅,可以让我们丢掉背了多年的情感包袱。原谅过去所犯的错。而从开始原谅的那刻起,你会感觉轻松了许多,多年的沉重包袱也神奇的不见了!更让人惊喜的是,你从此开始感觉到每天的生活精力充沛,且乐观向上。


2018年11月02日

希拉里败选演讲:呼吁女性继续为突破性别壁垒而奋斗
Samuel Johnson:letter to the right honorable the earl of chesterfield

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